I wrote in a journal down at fairfield....maybe i'll copy that in sometime. i also has this big self-realization thing going on late last night. maybe not self realization. i dont know what it was. something had been bothering me, and i thought about it and wrote this whole long poem and then i felt so much better. yeah it was about greg, and our relationship , and how it was going to work out next year, and after i wrote i felt so relaxed and i just wanted to see him. but when i called him at home i only got the half greg, the part that he can spare for conversation while he's really messing around online. all i could hear were the little keys clicking in the background, and there he was giving the monosyllabic answers that he always does when he's doing something else, and i just wanted to throw the fucking phone against the wall and hang up. He said that he was taking care of something "kind of important". Well la de fucking da. What about every other goddamned time he's talking to his friends or posting? is that kind of important too? because gee, somehow i thought that girlfriends were supposed to be a little more important than a fucking IM. if someone calls that you care about, wouldnt it be nice if you could tear yourself away from the keyboard for ten minutes? all i could think was, is this how it's going to be next year? every time i call am i going to have to compete with the internet? it was just so ironic, that i had come to such a positive conclusion the night before, and then to come home to this shit. and then he acted all shocked that i would be so upset.

im going to try to forget this. harry potter rules!!