A Spot of Ethical Bother

I am not, and will never be, a vegetarian. Nor, god help me, a vegan. I like hamburgers, and those soy ice cream sandwiches taste like shit (oh Shenandoah Farms sandwiches, why are you only available in Virginia? I dream of your creamy goodness and your shockingly low saturated-fat content) However, recent discoveries have forced me to think hard about my choices in the kind of animal products I'll consume in the future.

First, let's be honest: no reasonably intelligent person, in this day and age, can possibly claim absolute naivete regarding the conditions experienced by animals raised for slaughter. You can be like my sister, if you so desire, and vehemently demand that the topic be changed if it's even brushed upon, but that's also called being an ostrich and is not generally considered a strong position from which to argue. We all know those animals' lives are, quite literally, nasty, brutish and short, we all know that there are abuses, we all know that we like to sink our teeth into a tasty turkey sandwich. We know these things, but we'd generally rather not know these things in their full, horrifying, PETA-ad depth, because then we wouldn't be able to eat that sandwich without guilt. I admit to being one of these people; despite having a vague awareness that factory farming, as it's called, is exploitative and cruel, I never sought out information on exactly how awful it is. And it's bad.

Two things conspired to make me actually pay attention. First, during a debate at Middlebury, one of my classmates mentioned that the label "cage free" and "free range" mean absolutely bupkis when it comes to chicken and eggs. I will also admit to being a little naively surprised by this, but it's really true in 99% of cases. Second, Sean and I were reading a NYTimes article by an ethics professor recently in which he mentioned, in the middle of a string of examples, the fact that in the egg industry, male chicks (which do not lay eggs and are thus useless) are thrown alive into a meat grinder. Let's take a minute to process that. Cute, fluffy yellow chicks. Meat grinder. I later learned that not only is this absolutely true, but that other times male chicks are tossed into plastic bags and allowed to suffocate.

It's not like the female chicks get a much better life. I'm not going to go into graphic details, because honestly some of this stuff turned my stomach (particularly some of the sickening torture of helpless birds perpetrated by bored factory workers for fun), but in addition to being crammed in dirty quarters with so many birds that they will never, ever be able to spread their wings (yes, even the "free range" ones), these chickens have their beaks removed sans anesthesia so that they can't peck the other chickens around them to death in frustrated rage. Jesus. And the pictures of these places...it's truly horrifying. And it's not OK.

Now, I had already had a couple of points regarding meat on which I was willing to draw a line; I will never, ever eat lobster, for example, no matter how delicious it is, because I cannot get past the fact of its being boiled the fuck alive. All of a sudden, though, I also found myself recoiling at the thought of the tasty hardboiled eggs that I ate all summer for breakfast at Middlebury. Eggs seem so innocuous, so pure, until you begin to perceive the immense amount of suffering that's required to get them on your plate at the low price we're all accustomed to.

So, it is time to vote with my wallet, since I don't plan to go out and throw paint with PETA. I don't buy eggs frequently, but I know now that I can get actual cage-free eggs at the co-op from several local farms. Organizations like http://www.certifiedhumane.org/ offer lists of smaller farmers that treat their livestock responsibly (and actually live up to their labelling). They also list restaurants, and I was happy to discover a chain of CT burger restaurants that offer humane hamburgers. Sometimes, you just need one, dammit. In terms of meat, though, the only thing I buy is turkey, which is probably also available at the coop but likely is too expensive for my budget, so I cut it out entirely; I'm subbing in jelly sandwiches and tuna sandwiches for now. (Actually the tuna makes me feel guilty too, not only for the fish but because mayo has egg whites...maybe one day I'll actually make my own mayo, like Phyllis).

To conclude, I'm not against the consumption of meat in small amounts; it's tasty, and we don't have these pointy canines for nothing. But there's no reason animals should suffer this kind of anguish just so I can enjoy scrambled eggs. None at all.