:-/

Jen, Vinny, and I all went up to the Cape last weekend to see my aunt and her family.  Originally the trip was planned as a chance for Sean to collect oysters (it was the last weekend of the season) but he had to back out because he had too much work.  We still went, though, plucking gross-looking, briny-smelling, barnacle-covered oysters from the muck of low tide.  Honestly, I don't know who ever thought of trying to eat these suckers, or how they even realized they could be opened (Despite the Christmas gifts of oyster glove and knife, Sean still managed to wound himself once I brought the precious treats home, and my uncle cut himself right there at the water just by holding them in his hand).  I had a really good time, even with my sister's, you know, very presence.  I really enjoy my aunt and uncle's company, and I enjoy my cousins, Sara and Tyler.  We didn't spend that much time together when we were younger, and once we were all entering teen years I feel like we barely spoke, but now that we're all adults it's like discovering new and interesting people for the first time.

My aunt had mentioned a persistent pain in her hip that she'd already been seeing doctors about, which no one could explain.  Someone in her office had decided to be that person and basically tell her "it's cancer, here's a test you need to ask for."  Donna was polite, and didn't tell them she'd already had that test, that they'd taken CAT scans and bloodwork, etc.  She was scheduled to go back to the doctor on Monday for some more tests, and it turned out to be lymphoma.  She was given the diagnosis on Wednesday, though they still haven't told her which variant she has.  She will have to undergo chemo and radiation, and, typical Donna, she told me on the phone yesterday that she'd have started first thing Thursday if she could have!  I love Donna's attitude about most things, and I told her, she's got the best attitude one could ask for from a patient, a mixture of cheerfulness and pragmatism.  As it happens, one of my uncle's longtime clients is the chairman of the board of Dana Farber, so he went to talk to him yesterday, and my my aunt's going to be seeing the very best specialist they have.

I had left my phone in the car on Friday night, and Saturday morning when I went grocery shopping it appeared to be dead.  I forgot it in the car again.  Saturday evening I called Jen to make sure she had received my email about Easter, and she sounded so dour.  She wouldn't tell me at first, saying it "wasn't her place", but finally she did, swearing me, naturally, not to tell Donna (Jen gets weirdly fixated on protocol sometimes; if Donna told you, and left me a voicemail to call her, so that she could also tell me, why would you think we have to keep it secret from each other??).  When I called my aunt, she asked if I'd talked to my sister and said she had something to tell me, and I was like "nope, already taken care of, you don't have to break it to me" and she burst out laughing and said "oh thank God!"  I mean, how many times do you really want to have to give people the "I have cancer" talk?

I also talked to Janice, who Donna had informed me was already trying to "manage" things, in her Janice way, from Arizona.  Within a day she'd already mustered all the Rhode Island cousins and aunts, for example, and read more info on lymphoma than Donna had.  Janice told me that Donna had considered waiting till after Jen's shower in a couple of weeks to tell us, but Janice had advised her to go ahead, with the caveat "tell Michelle first."  Haha.  Whoops.  But I knew that it would be difficult for Janice--her life in AZ is not that great, she's got one unpleasant lump of a sick husband and one ungrateful lump of a gun-obsessed son.  She relies a lot on Donna (in fact, Donna and I had talked, a couple of months ago, about how depressed Janice seemed, and Donna told me that she was shocked when Janice informed her sister that she wasn't giving her the emotional validation that she needed; specifically, she needed my aunt to tell her that she was being a good wife and mother and making the right choice to live in AZ), so it's going to be hard on her as well, since she'll probably feel like she can't talk about her problems--even though Donna, I know, would prefer nothing to be different!  When Janice was telling me "well, I know now I have to be really strong for her" I was laughing to myself thinking, "welllll, your sister doesn't want you to be that strong" because Donna had already complained about it.  Sisters!

Anyway, Jen is coming here in a few hours, and I fear that she's going to be really unpleasant and depressed.  I feel like an asshole for saying this, but Jen always takes these things as much to heart as if it were happening to her.  When Janice decided to move, for example, Jen felt that as a personal affront, that one of her only relatives was daring to move away, and I swear she is still holding that as a grudge!  I mean, illness happens, and I will firmly trust that Donna will be OK until I hear otherwise; she will certainly have the best care, and she's got the best attitude.  But I suspect Jen perceives this in terms of how it would affect her if something happened to Donna.  Again, this probably makes me sound like a jerk, but Jen is really unpleasant when she's moody.  She might make the punch-me face!  She might cry!  God, if she cries over Mom today because of this (especially after my father's 14th anniversary, on Tuesday, got zero acknowledgment), I don't know what I'll do.  Drink more, probably!