It's Thursday and still not a speck of blue sky has been seen since the boys left. However, I'm down to my last exam, having just left Renaissance Art of the Courts feeling quite good about it. The thing I like about that class is not so much the art we're studying, but more that it's giving me a well-rounded history of one of my favorite subjects, the families and the wars and the power struggles of the Renaissance courts. Also, the courts we're studying, which are all the fifteenth century families of Urbino, Ferrara, Florence, Milan etc, happen to be people who had cropped up here or there in things I've read, either for other classes or historical fiction--how I love those! One of my favorites, which is ridiculously long but still good, is "The Duchess of Milan". The main characters, Ludovico Il Moro, the Regent of Milan, and his wife, Beatrice D'Este, daughter of the Duke of Ferrara, are already people I knew the history of before I took this class, so reading about them and the court they created around them feels rather like getting more acquainted with old friends.
When I get home I'm going to read that book again. Yum. And you know, if I ever want to go over my textbook for this class at home, I certainly can, because guess what, I already owned the damn book in America before I came here! I got it from Dr Escobar when he had his book giveaway in our seminar, he suggested I take it, but never did I think it would actually be the textbook for the class of the same name in Florence. Therefore, I have refused to actually buy the book here, and I have been reading it in the library.
Sara wrote in her journal that she only has four weekends left in her program. I can't believe she would be leaving Florence only in a month! The four of us here in San Gallo have agreed that it would be truly excellent if she camped out at our apartment for a while before she goes home. She stayed over for like three days when the boys first got here, after having returned from a rather eventful spring break experience, and it was so much fun.
Meanwhile, I will be in Sardinia in a matter of days, where apparently a delicacy is toast with worms on it. Oh dear god.
I'm torn between really wanting to go home, because having seen Sean only amplified how much I've missed him the past couple of months, and really wanting this time not to be over. I know everyone talks about how when they get out of college they're just going to say fuck it all and go live in Europe for a couple of years, but the chances of that happening are quite tiny. For one thing, in my case, student loans would be a definite issue. The only plan I have for living abroad post-graduation is if I get a Fulbright to teach in Spain, which I would love to do, not for the children but for the location, but the chances of actually getting one of those, while not infinitesimally small, are rather limited. I don't have my heart set on it. It's probably just going to be grad school for me, and then someday in the future I know I will return to Europe and see places I haven't seen before. I just have to accept that living here again will never really be an opportunity.
Do Europeans know how lucky they are? Americans think we're luckier, but really only in material things. I think I could do without fruit loops, and water pressure, and a toaster oven, if in exchange I could have Tuscany. But Tuscany would be rather empty without Sean, and he would never be able to live abroad, as we learned from his traveling experiences lol. I suppose the idea of life in America can always be improved by the person who shares it with you.
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