It's done. I feel a great sense of relief. We're still friends, which is most important because he's one of my best friends here, and I know him so well it's almost scary. I explained my reasons for wanting time alone, to be able to determine myself aside from being so and so's girlfriend, and explaining my odd behavior these last few days. afterward our friends were gathered outside, expecting some sort of meltdown from him that thankfully didn't come. he said he had sort of been expecting it. of course he's sad, and i'm sad too, because this has been a wonderful month, but i need to do what will make me happy. as sara said, a month ago i chose what i thought would make me happy, and now that choice has altered, and i followed it. where it will lead i don't really know, but i am damn sure it's not to another deep relationship. i can't pretend to know the future, but i don't want another one anytime soon. soul mate, if you're out there, hold off, take a vacation, join a spinning class, do something, just don't seek me out, not yet.