ah, the complexity of college life, specifically my own. does it ever end? does it ever reach the point where everyone just stops and says collectively, No more--no more intrigues, no more petty strife, no more secret rivalries and closely held grudges? Of course not, because it's just not in our nature. Man cannot live for any length of time in true harmony.

heather wrote an incredibly revealing entry in her xanga today (props to you, flanny). i was just amazed. i don't particularly love taking stock of all my personality flaws, of which there are many. a lot of the time i just catch myself stereotyping someone based on their clothes, or gossiping, or being generally malicious and think "whoa, this is bad, stop now." and i usually do, but then i do it again, and again, and again and it's like i can't help it or i just don't bother to help it. especially going here, i tend to stereotype all the little abercrombie-wearing brunettes with highlights and the dumbass drunk guys (see?). a lot of the time they just seem to be one giant herd, indistinguishable, and i like being distinguishable, i like that popham can see me halfway across campus walking to macauliffe because of my scarf and backpack. i hated it that julie said she was scared of me during orientation bc of how i dressed but that i'm much more normal now.

god now heather has me going down the im a horrible person path. i'm not and neither is she and i damn well know it. yes i fuck up but everyone does. im not thinking about this anymore tonight.

see, and this is always how i pussy out of it.