alright, now i am writing about half an hour later. amazing how small bits of information can kind of sour your good mood.

i'm ever so sorry that my "plan" doesn't sit well with you, dear. i'm sorry you disapprove of the way i'm living my life, but i like it, it makes me happy. are you happy? it sure doesn't sound that way. i'm also sorry that you are so very bitter. that's all that comes across to me from anything i ever hear about you: bitterness. not hope, not resignation, not nostalgia. why would i ever want to include you in my life in any way if all you have to offer is negative emotions? why do you think i stopped talking to you in the first place? i thought maybe you would just move on and let it go, but you just became even more resentful. it's been more than six months and apparently you haven't resolved whatever issues you still have.

i really wish things weren't this way. i miss you sometimes; i miss being friends with you. when i think about you i try to always remember the good times, which were the large portion of our time together. i wish that you weren't as unhappy as you make yourself sound. you said once that maybe we just never really knew each other at all; well, i sure as hell don't feel like i know you now.

i was planning to come back and finish this after i went into town, but i'm not. i was in a very good mood this morning after tommy told me he's definitely coming down on friday, and then this little episode made me really upset, which sucked. so i bought strawberries--delicious--and a beautiful pot of yellow flowers. just looking at them, so pure, so vibrant, so full of life, cleared my head and made me happier. i won't say that i'm still not upset by all this, by you in general, but i have so many great things going on in my life that one small negative is not enough to lose my cool over. so feel free to be bitter and negative about life, my friend. feel free to continue writing your vicious little diatribes full of meaningless phrases and atrocious spelling--but i simply have to say this: it's 'thief', not 'theif', and yes, it really does matter to most educated people--and feel free to continue being unhappily trapped by the past. for my part, i intend to spend my time enjoying the fabulous day outside, the company of my friends, and all the joys that the life i've chosen has to offer. and yes, it's all according to the plan.