One Hundred Interesting Questions And One Boring One
a survey by Adam Bertocci
---
It's a long survey, but filled with the kinds of questions you won't see anywhere else. Be honest and send it to all your friends, and who knows what you'll learn!

YOUR NAME
(1) The singular boring question: What is your name?
I??ve learned not to answer this, because it makes my site Google-able. MMD.
(2) If you had been born a member of the opposite sex, what would your name have been?
Michael
(3) Would you name a child of yours after you?
No, I??d probably name a boy after my dad, and a girl, who knows.
(4) If you had to switch first names with a friend of yours, who would you switch with?
Meredith
(5) What's the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name?
DiMarz-i-o
(6) If you were to become famous, would you drop your last name (like Madonna, Cher, Roseanne)?
Hell no, I like my last name.

DEEP THEOLOGICAL QUESTIONS
(7) Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?
Not really. I feel like truly evil people should be punished, but the majority of people are not bad enough to deserve eternal torment, even if they don??t confess their sins or attend services.
(8) Do you think God has a gender?
Not really. I usually put God in the male gender in my own mind simply because I was raised in a patriarchal religion. I find the traditional image of god as the guy with the flowing beard to be comforting, even if it may be inaccurate. Humans need something they can relate to when they think of God.
(9) Do you think science counteracts religion?
Not really. For me, the complexity of life has always been one of the greatest proofs of the existence of God, even though for some it is the greatest argument against it. Science has never explained what there was before the Big Bang, after all. Something cannot come from nothing.
(10) Do you believe in organized religion?
No. I believe in a lot of what the major religions have in common, but it??s the trappings and rituals that I dislike, and also their determination to nitpick until they??ve come up with a codified reaction to every little thing in life.
(11) Where do you think we go when we die?
I??m not sure. Hopefully, to heaven.
(12) Do you feel a little funny thinking about the questions in this section?
Not at all, I think about them a lot.

HUMOR
(13) How easy is it to make you laugh?
Pretty easy ??
(14) What person you know makes you laugh the most?
Probably heather, my crazy ghetto girl
(15) Do you laugh at jokes you know you shouldn't?
Of course.
(16) Do you tell jokes you know you shouldn't?
Of course!
(17) What words instantly make you laugh or at least smile?
Um?Kcan??t think of any
(18) What do you think is the funniest thing you've ever said or written?
One of those things that rae uses for her away messages?Kbut I forgot what it said?KI just know that I read it one day and cracked up, I??d completely forgotten that I??d ever said it.

MUSIC
(19) Do you ever dance to music when nobody's watching?
Cough. Yes.
(20) What is/are the worst song(s) you have ever heard?
A lot of rap songs, a lot of death metal, and a lot of country.
(21) What song(s) do you wish you could understand a little better?
A lot of Tool songs lol
(22) What song(s) are constantly in your head?
NIN: Perfect Drug, Incubus: I Miss You, A Perfect Circle: The Stranger, Elliot Smith: Say Yes
(23) What song(s) do you think describe your personality best?
Hm?KI don??t know. Probably an APC song.
(24) If you were to serenade the object of your affections, which song(s) would you use?
Incubus: I Miss you, Hoobastank: The Reason, Incubus: I wish you were here
(25) If the object of your affections were to serenade you, what song(s) would you hope he or she used?
Anything they thought appropriate

MOVIES
(26) What movie(s) do you love that nobody else seems to?
Hmm?K.a lot of old cary grant movies, and old movies in general. Like ??M??, which is a black and white German film starring Peter Lorre as this creepy child murderer. Possibly only sean shares my taste in movies.
(27) Do you agree with the idea that sequels are always worse than the original?
Usually, yes.
(28) Who's your favorite Star Wars character?
I was in love with Han Solo.
(29) What kind of movie do you think there should be more of?
I miss the old screwball comedies, which were what Cary Grant tended to star in. they were quick-paced, witty, and just fun to watch. They really don??t make many movies like that anymore.
(30) What movie(s) do you simply not understand the appeal of?
Anything akin to the Farrelly brothers, with lots of bodily humor gags.

FOOD
(31) When eating, are you more concerned with taste or healthiness?
taste
(32) What's your favorite kind of cheese?
Mozzarella or american
(33) What do you think your answer to the previous question reveals about your personality?
Um, that I??m Italian AND American, duh.
(34) If you knew exactly what went into Chinese food, hamburger meat, etc., would you still eat it?
Yes, I usually have faith in the FDA.
(35) Do you ever feel guilty eating meat?
Not really, animals were meant to be eaten. I do wish they were treated more humanely, though, that turns my stomach.

COMPUTERS
(36) Mac or PC?
PC

(37) How much do you actually care about the inner workings of your computer, as long as it works?
Not too much
(38) Do you ever begin preferring IMs to other forms of conversation?
It depends who I??m talking to. Sometimes, yes.
(39) Do you find you're different talking through IMs than face-to-face or on the telephone?
Well, you have more of a chance to think about what you??re going to say over the computer.
(40) Have you ever ended bid on something on eBay and regretted it later?
No.

THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES
(41) Have you ever wished you could experience being the other gender?
Yes, a lot of the time it just seems men have it easier.
(42) What do you love most about the other gender?
How they smell (if they smell good, anyway)
(43) What do you dislike most about the other gender?
How stupid, insensitive, and mean they can be
(44) What do you understand least about the other gender?
How they don??t mind not having the kind of close relationships that girls do.

CELEBRITIES
(45) Do you sometimes see a movie or watch a show just because a good-looking celebrity is in it?
Oh hells yes.
(46) What celebrity's autograph do you want most?
Johnny Depp??s
(47) Have people ever said you looked like a celebrity, and if so, who?
Some people at Sofia??s said I look like Anne Hathaway, but she??s kinda more English looking than I am.
(48) If there was to be a movie about you, who do you think should play you (in personality, looks or both)?
Oh, Catherine zeta jones, definitely. In looks, of course.
(49) Does it ever annoy you when you know someone is a celebrity but you can't remember why?
no
(50) If you could enter any celebrity's mind like in "Being John Malkovich", whose would you enter?
Johnny Depp??s, and I would think ??Damn I am SO HOT!??

(51) Do you want to be John Malkovich?
Not at all

NUMBERS
(52) Do you laugh when you hear or read the number 69?
No
(53) Were you lying about your answer to the previous question?
no
(54) Do you actually know your Social Security Number?
Yes, since it??s my school id
(55) Do you actually know your IP address?
nope
(56) Do you know what an IP address is?
Internet?K.um?Kprovider? I know it??s the individual address of your computer on the net
(57) Do you know the four-character extension on your ZIP code?
no
(58) Ever thought there were too many numbers floating around in our lives?
Yes, quite
(59) Does your head begin to hurt when you think of infinity, imaginary numbers, irrational numbers, etc.?
no
(60) What do you think of pi?
I think that I??m reading a book right now called ??Life of Pi??, except it??s not about the number.

LOVE, SEX AND ALL THAT
(61) Did you get a little frightened or uncomfortable seeing this as a section title?
no
(62) If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel?
Kind of bad knowing that I??d be making someone unhappy, but you have to be true to yourself.
(63) Do you prefer getting to know someone first before dating them or going in "blind"?
Getting to know them a bit
(64) Could you carry on a relationship with someone with the same first name as a family member?
Sure, why not

(65) Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out?
Whoever said it wasn??t socially acceptable? Most of the guys I??ve ever dated I??ve asked out myself. Men are pussies.
(66) What's your opinion on sex without emotional commitment?
Not good. I don??t want to have random sex, though I may occasionally daydream about it. I??d like to know that I love my partner and that he loves me.
(67) Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive?
Briefly, and then, well, it didn??t go too well.
(68) Do you think the opposite sex finds you good-looking?
Yes, for the most part
(69) Would you be willing to give up sex in exchange for an emotional commitment you knew would last?
Well I wouldn??t quite be giving it up, since I??ve never had it, so sure.
(70) Do you think the number of the last question was a coincidence?
I wasn??t paying attention.

POSSESSIONS
(71) What is your favorite possession?
The Mouse with No Name
(72) What physical, tangible possession do you want most?
A corvette
(73) How badly do you want it?
Well, not badly enough to kill for it, I can wait
(74) Have you ever seen 'The Exorcist'?
yes
(75) How long did it take you to understand why the last question is in this section?
Not very long, I??m a bright one!

HOLIDAYS
(76) Does Christmas music too far away from Christmas annoy you?
Incredibly so
(77) How old do you think you will be before you stop liking getting older?
Sometime in my early thirties
(78) What was the best Halloween costume you ever had?
I liked being a pirate this year
(79) What was the worst Halloween costume you ever had?
I remember being a pumpkin once when I was very little. Thanks mom.
(80) What holiday do you think has still managed to retain its original meaning?
thanksgiving
(81) There are currently no federal holidays during August- what should be put there?
National Read A Goddamned Book Day, for all those lazy teenagers who never read anything past the comics.

MEMORIES
(82) How good is your short-term memory? For most things, good, but for faces not good at all.
(83) How good is your long-term memory? Fairly good, but I forget some things
(84) What is your earliest memory? Probably my first day of kindergarten, reporting to my grandparents over the phone about the bus ride
(85) What is your happiest memory (other than recieving this survey)?
I have a lot of them?Kright now I??m thinking of Tommy
(86) What is your strangest memory?
I don??t know?K.
(87) What song, movie, etc. do you wish you could memorize?
Pirates!

TEARS
(88) What movie makes/made you cry?
Lilo and Stitch is probably the only cartoon movie that??s ever made me cry
(89) What book makes/made you cry? ??The Lovely Bones??, ??Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix??
(90) What song makes/made you cry?
I??ve never heard any.
(91) What makes/made you laugh so hard you cried?
A lot of my friends

THREE TRULY RANDOM QUESTIONS
(92) Would you like to be cloned?
NOOOOOOOO
(93) Do you wish you could be alive when the world was ending, just to experience it?
Uh, no. I??d be scared shitless.
(94) Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango?
What?

THIS SURVEY
(95) Do you think that one hundred and one questions is too long?
(96) Do you think the one hundred interesting questions actually were interesting?
(97) Are you sorry you began filling it out?
(98) What question do you wish it had asked?
(99) How would you have answered it?
(I??m not answering any of these. They are pointless.)

THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT QUESTIONS
(100) When was the last time you let the people you love know you love them?
A few days at least, I haven??t really talked to my friends from home or family lately, and my friends here don??t generally do the ??I love you?? thing.

(101) What do you want the people who are reading this survey to know?
I do love you guys, I hope you always know that.