I will post and then I'm off to bed. I'm not really tired, it's only midnight, and no one really gives a shit about the rest of classes till thanksgiving. i'm basically comatose in calc every day anyway, and i spend english class writing poems as we talk about poems. good stuff. why can't i wrote poems in calc class, i wonder? i guess i just spend too much time wanting to kill myself, or fantasizing about killing off my doddering old professor. it's not like he'd need much to send him over the edge, anyway. just a teensy little push. yeah, i'm crazy, but spend an hour and fifteen minutes with this alzheimer's patient and you'd be all for forcible euthanasia too.

so i recovered wonderfully from being so rudely awakened this morning. i think i had a dream about the end of the world last night, probably because of wendy filling my mind with crazy talk at 3 in the morning. i don't remember what i did most of the day....hold on....well, i went shopping online, something i never really do, and bought a shitload of gifts for people. i now have completed my shopping for sara, heather, rae, andrew, lauren, and wendy, and i need one more thing for dahts. the rest will come in time. i'm so damned proud of myself for getting a jump start on things. then again, i've never had so many fucking people to buy for!

i took more tests tonight online, cause wendy wanted me too....let's see, i'm 37 percent gay (the same as the world average, but more than the female average of 33 percent)....i'm 73 percent pure, which is mildly disturbing (lauren and i forced popham to take it, sure enough she was 93 percent white as snow!)...i will apparently first have sex at age 21 and will have sex with four people in my life, only three of whom will i love. that one DEFINITELY sounds wrong. number one, no way in hell am i waiting *counts mentally* three fucking years to have sex. noooooooo. number two, no way am i only having sex with four people! variety is the spice of life! being in love with three people doesn't sound so bad, though. let's hope i keep one of them...oh and im 21 percent bitch. yeah, go me.

sometimes when jen and i are apart we act civilly toward each other. other times she's just a bitch, like today, when she persisted in being obnoxious whenever i called, refusing to let me talk to mom unless i told her what i was going to say, staying on the phone and making stupid blowing noises, and generally being the immature asshole that i know and am forced to love. she wonders why the fuck i don't like her. here's a typical dimarzo family phone conversation:

Me: Hi, Jen.
Jen: What do you want, Bob?
Me: Put mom on the phone.
Jen: What do you want to tell her, Bob? Tell me or I won't get her.
Me: Just put mom on the phone.
Jen: Not till you tell me, Bob....
Me: *angry voice* put mom on the fucking phone, would you?
Jen: *yells for mom*
Mom: Hello.
Jen: *breathes noisily into phone receiver*
Me: get her off the damned phone!
Mom: Jennifer, get off the phone and let your sister talk.
Jen: *makes weird raspberry sound and hangs up loudly*
Me: she is such an asshole!
Mom: what else is new?

you might think i'm kidding, but that happened not once today, but twice. must i mention that big sis is 21, completely of age, and yet she acts like a twelve year old moron? then she claims to anyone who'll listen that i'm a stuck up spoiled little bitch who thinks i'm better than i'm her. well, if better means better looking, smarter, with manners and social skills, GEE i wonder why i might possibly seem like i think that? ah, the familiar taste of bitterness. must be the holidays.