tonight was halloween, which was pretty fun. i love my pirate costume. i got accosted by three drunk people, one of whom started throwing up like five seconds after she started to talk to me, another who's in my spanish class and wanted to let everybody in the whole world know that we were in the same spanish class, and then one other guy who kept calling me mike and telling me i looked beautiful. cough. yeah. i talked to my mom on the phone and she told me two things. one, she got her hair highlighted BLONDE. christ. i'll need to call melissa and find out how this looks. second, she went to visit a medium tonight! this was totally unexpected from my mother, whom i have never seen as much of a believer in the occult, though she did forbid me from using ouija boards as a child and liked to read ghost stories. anyway she heard about it on the radio, it was free and she wanted to do something fun on her birthday, so off she went. the first thing the guy told her was that he saw a man with respiratory problems. i didn't think we knew anyone with that description, but then my mom told me that my dad had some chronic respiratory thing going on, plus his autopsy revealed he had asthma. the seer or whatnot said this man had died a very sudden death, at which point my mom decided that it must be my dad. the guy said my dad wanted my mom to know that he was "safe", whatever that means. next he told my mom he saw a woman who had died from cancer, and he guessed that it was her mother. heasked (apparently it was my nana asking, really ) if my mom hadn't gotten along with her mother, if she had been angry with her, and my mom said yes. he asked if she was still angry, and my mom said yes again. then he told her that her mother wanted her to know that she was very sorry for all that she had done to her, and that she had suffered a lot in her life, and that influenced how she behaved towards my mom. eerily, the guy also said that my nana said to "give her love to john"; john was the most beloved of my nana's three sons. in addition to all this, the medium said he saw a man who was surrounded by alchohol. my mom said she didnt know anyone like that, but he insisted, saying it was so strong he could smell it on him. now, my grandfather has of late been of the opinion that he "knows" my other grandfather was an alchoholic, that my dad told him so. my mom scoffs at that, but my aunts claimed to have heard that as well. i have no idea how my dad would have known, since my mom doesnt seem to, nd her father died when she was five, of a heart attack. hmm....pattern here? anyway that still got my mother wondering.
i was amused that my mother's one encounter with a psychic seems to have been more fruitful than my three of last evening. my mother believes that this man was credible. incidentally, she asked him about my grandmother, my father's mom, and he said that she wasn't around, that only those who have a message for the living are visible to him. i felt oddly disappointed when she related that to me. i don't even know if i entirely believe in this stuff, but i would have liked to think that my grandma would have something to say to me. maybe she was content with life as she left it; after all, her goal was to see all her grandchildren, and after anthony i doubt there'll be any more. i hope this gave my mom some sort of reassurance about my dad. i wonder if she's been wondering the way i have. i have no idea about the status of my father's faith, but i know he never receieved communion and he never confessed. i must have trouble believing this, because i'm sure i should be feeling some huge sense of relief at knowing he's ok, he's not nowhere, he's safe. but i'm not. maybe because i wasn't there. i'm tempted now to visit a medium myself, to see if my father says anything. he's really the only one i want to contact up there. but i do want to believe that he is safe. dear god, how much do i want to believe that.
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